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A Conversation Off Topic
Feb. 4th, 2008 | 01:26 pm
location: The Flying Dutchman
mood: 
riotitious
music: Zoot Suit Riot
Should we read?
Should we see?
Should we try to know?
Should we explore?
Should we write?
Should we go?
Go? Where?
And what would you say when you got there?
Anger bubbles over in the streets,
but Angel Gonzalez reminds us that
for every dictator,
there's a whore trying to make it
in the world on Saturday morning.
I feel empty and I don't know what to
say. Should we
say? I thought that I had something to
say, something important to
say; something that other people might want to
hear.
I'm off to write in the p&p journal. ACTF this week. Updates will be sporadic.
Should we see?
Should we try to know?
Should we explore?
Should we write?
Should we go?
Go? Where?
And what would you say when you got there?
Anger bubbles over in the streets,
but Angel Gonzalez reminds us that
for every dictator,
there's a whore trying to make it
in the world on Saturday morning.
I feel empty and I don't know what to
say. Should we
say? I thought that I had something to
say, something important to
say; something that other people might want to
hear.
I'm off to write in the p&p journal. ACTF this week. Updates will be sporadic.
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Contra Dancing
Feb. 3rd, 2008 | 02:23 am
location: Bass A 101
mood: 
Sleepy, but not tired
music: Pie in the Sky--Taboo
I love contra dancing. I had a great time tonight at Berry. If you missed it, you should try not to in the future--it's super fun.
Quiz bowl campus tourney today. Low showout, but not really a huge deal. We ran the packets and went home.
Chris is in town. I always love it when Chris is in town.
Things I don't understand are happening behind me and to the right of me. I thought I heard a door slam, but that could have just been wishful thinking.
Update
So, if the above seems terse to you, that's because I felt like I had something to say but I didn't really know what it was. I don't know if I'm any closer to admitting these things out on the internet cosmos, but I've realized what a few of them are. And I'm ready to start dealing with these things because I have no power over them. And I realized this because I cleaned my room.
As most of you know, I am usually a pretty trashy person. Yet, every once in a while, I get a huge drive to go through and clean everything: straighten things, fold laundry, cull old stuff, recycle, dust, scrub, etc. But this only happens when I'm pissed off and I need to channel excess energy into something. Well, I did that for the last two hours (it's 3:46 AM right now) with the nervousness I got the second I got home.
I've always known that cleaning makes me feel better, but I think I finally figured out why. Instead of being angry and railing or writing or being nervous and not knowing where to turn or being muted and not knowing who to speak to, cleaning I understand. I know the principles, I comprehend the concepts. So, I have power over that. And I think the feeling of regaining power over a part of my life when everything seems such a detrimental whirl makes me feel a lot better.
Maybe that's obvious to people who have known me.
But I learned something tonight.
Quiz bowl campus tourney today. Low showout, but not really a huge deal. We ran the packets and went home.
Chris is in town. I always love it when Chris is in town.
Things I don't understand are happening behind me and to the right of me. I thought I heard a door slam, but that could have just been wishful thinking.
Update
So, if the above seems terse to you, that's because I felt like I had something to say but I didn't really know what it was. I don't know if I'm any closer to admitting these things out on the internet cosmos, but I've realized what a few of them are. And I'm ready to start dealing with these things because I have no power over them. And I realized this because I cleaned my room.
As most of you know, I am usually a pretty trashy person. Yet, every once in a while, I get a huge drive to go through and clean everything: straighten things, fold laundry, cull old stuff, recycle, dust, scrub, etc. But this only happens when I'm pissed off and I need to channel excess energy into something. Well, I did that for the last two hours (it's 3:46 AM right now) with the nervousness I got the second I got home.
I've always known that cleaning makes me feel better, but I think I finally figured out why. Instead of being angry and railing or writing or being nervous and not knowing where to turn or being muted and not knowing who to speak to, cleaning I understand. I know the principles, I comprehend the concepts. So, I have power over that. And I think the feeling of regaining power over a part of my life when everything seems such a detrimental whirl makes me feel a lot better.
Maybe that's obvious to people who have known me.
But I learned something tonight.
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Retarded Stepkid
Jan. 18th, 2008 | 09:27 pm
You know when you don't want to do Photoshop?
When you really have to pee.
When you've written six pages today to a story that you're getting on deadline.
When the person teaching you can't hear you because they're listening to rock.
But mostly, when you have to pee.
When you really have to pee.
When you've written six pages today to a story that you're getting on deadline.
When the person teaching you can't hear you because they're listening to rock.
But mostly, when you have to pee.
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The Good Fight
Jan. 17th, 2008 | 05:30 pm
location: MFA Computer Lab
mood: dreamy
music: Printer Printing
There comes a point when you feel like you are no longer fighting the good fight and just fighting the fight. And I never realized how important it was to realize that the fight was good.
The School of the Arts meeting was today. Looking back on it, I can very easily see how just a few months ago I would have gladly sat there and tore all of the professors to shreds in pages and pages of critique. Today, I didn't even have to turn the paper over to have more room. I left a ton of white space on the page as it was. So yeah...some people need to calm down, but maybe this will help. Maybe.
It snowed last night! It was fun. Krystin and I went outside and played with it in the middle of watching Equilibrium (a fascinating movie about the need of emotion). It eventually all melted, but while it lasted it was really cool. Had cocoa, did the whole thing. It was precious.
Had lunch with Pearson yesterday. Very good. Made me feel a lot better.
And lastly, I have to give a presentation and finish a short story tonight. But, today rocks because I got the key. And the key is amazing.
It's amazing how terse I am when I have to poop.
The School of the Arts meeting was today. Looking back on it, I can very easily see how just a few months ago I would have gladly sat there and tore all of the professors to shreds in pages and pages of critique. Today, I didn't even have to turn the paper over to have more room. I left a ton of white space on the page as it was. So yeah...some people need to calm down, but maybe this will help. Maybe.
It snowed last night! It was fun. Krystin and I went outside and played with it in the middle of watching Equilibrium (a fascinating movie about the need of emotion). It eventually all melted, but while it lasted it was really cool. Had cocoa, did the whole thing. It was precious.
Had lunch with Pearson yesterday. Very good. Made me feel a lot better.
And lastly, I have to give a presentation and finish a short story tonight. But, today rocks because I got the key. And the key is amazing.
It's amazing how terse I am when I have to poop.
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Walking Out of Dinner
Jan. 14th, 2008 | 06:37 pm
location: MFA Computer Lab
mood: 
Reflective in a bad way
music: Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga by Spoon
I feel myself getting bitchier. Tonight, I, obviously, walked out of dinner. I don't think anyone noticed, but I just couldn't deal with it.
For those of you who don't know my philosophy of the year, they are as follows:
1. Screw the bitches.
2. Many people have serious problems that they need to work on.
So, I was sitting at dinner, and someone mentioned the mandatory full School of the Arts meeting on Thursday The sort of meeting that has never happened before. And a lot of people think that it's mostly for the theatre kids to tell their story. And I think that's bullshit. One person said, "We can use it as a chance to slam the faculty." I just stood and said, "That seems childish. I just don't get that anymore" and I moved to get more Diet Coke. Well, less than five minutes later, the assembled group of theatricians (about 8) started slamming this freshman who no one likes. I don't like him either, but I hate hearing people abused. And they started laughing at his misfortunes and his social awkwardness.
And I did nothing.
Which is a really shitty thing to have done. Instead, the ice cream that I was using to comfort myself for the long night of research that I had ahead of me got thrown away after one bite (and it was my favorite too) because I couldn't be around that kind of negativity. And that was good enough last semester.
But it isn't anymore. I should have done something to defend the kid who was getting talked about. Not that it's my job, but it is my job. I'm a member of the same human race that he is and we don't deserve to laugh at him if he can't laugh with us. And the thing is, this wasn't playful laughter to a friend that has done something done. This is the cackle of harsh souls waiting for someone to screw up so they can point down at them.
And I'm tired of it. I am going to be more confrontational and stop people from saying these things because someone should.
In other news, all engines are go for study abroad. That I can't wait about.
But I'm in a bad mood now. I'm listening to Spoon and it makes me feel pumped. You know what Spoon has to say about this situation? Not a goddamn thing. But it makes me feel better.
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Keeping Up With Friends
Jan. 13th, 2008 | 06:46 pm
location: MFA Computer Lab
mood: writing
music: Myriad Harbour by The New Pornographers
So, I've decided to start writing briefly in this everyday so that I can let my friends who don't live near me know what's going on. I'm only going to start protecting stuff that I wouldn't shout from the rooftops (and those of you who know me know how very little that is). So, yeah...stay tuned for updates!
I went to the dance concert here at Shorter today...well, it was a dress rehearsal that pretty much kicked ass. If anyone here reads this, I know the show is sold out, but beg borrow and steal tickets to go see this show. I mean, it's that good. I almost cried within the first ten minutes. And that was a rehearsal. Special props to Justin's "White Houses" for starting the show off right and Jennifer Holcombe for appearing as the "other woman" in no less than three dances.
Beside that, nothing happening. I'm really pumped about the semester. I'm happier. I feel the pep in my step. Listening to The New Pornographers new CD pretty much constantly. I've started writing everyday and I'm pumping out a fairly good volume. My first self-set deadline is Wednesday. I'm supposed to have the first draft of this story done. It's tentatively entitled Scarred. It's based on this kid I knew this summer who got attacked by a pit bull when he was young and it scarred up his face. I didn't notice the scars til I was putting makeup on him and saw them zig-zagging across his skin. He told me the story and he said that he had been offered plastic surgery. Mandy and I both said "No!" His scars are awesome. I believe Mandy called them gnarly.
So, the main character has scars, has a rough time at school, and his life spirals down for the first half of the story. It's hard on me. The main character, Lawson (obviously not the same name), reminds me of a lot of people I know. Reminds me of me a little bit. I want this story to be good, but this first draft BLOWS!
Shitty first drafts.
I know. Piss.
I went to the dance concert here at Shorter today...well, it was a dress rehearsal that pretty much kicked ass. If anyone here reads this, I know the show is sold out, but beg borrow and steal tickets to go see this show. I mean, it's that good. I almost cried within the first ten minutes. And that was a rehearsal. Special props to Justin's "White Houses" for starting the show off right and Jennifer Holcombe for appearing as the "other woman" in no less than three dances.
Beside that, nothing happening. I'm really pumped about the semester. I'm happier. I feel the pep in my step. Listening to The New Pornographers new CD pretty much constantly. I've started writing everyday and I'm pumping out a fairly good volume. My first self-set deadline is Wednesday. I'm supposed to have the first draft of this story done. It's tentatively entitled Scarred. It's based on this kid I knew this summer who got attacked by a pit bull when he was young and it scarred up his face. I didn't notice the scars til I was putting makeup on him and saw them zig-zagging across his skin. He told me the story and he said that he had been offered plastic surgery. Mandy and I both said "No!" His scars are awesome. I believe Mandy called them gnarly.
So, the main character has scars, has a rough time at school, and his life spirals down for the first half of the story. It's hard on me. The main character, Lawson (obviously not the same name), reminds me of a lot of people I know. Reminds me of me a little bit. I want this story to be good, but this first draft BLOWS!
Shitty first drafts.
I know. Piss.
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Transcribe to USB drive
May. 28th, 2007 | 11:06 pm
"Cantaloupe is the most disappointing fruit."
Idling in the car with my mother, I attempted to fill the awkward silence that had fallen between us.
"Oh, really. How so?"
"Becaus you see it and you think 'Oooh cantaloupe' then you take a bite and you go 'Eww, cantaloupe!"
Idling in the car with my mother, I attempted to fill the awkward silence that had fallen between us.
"Oh, really. How so?"
"Becaus you see it and you think 'Oooh cantaloupe' then you take a bite and you go 'Eww, cantaloupe!"
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Pancake Breakfast
Apr. 19th, 2007 | 11:56 am
location: Dorm Room
mood: 
a little gross
music: Dumb by Nirvana
We had our pancake breakfast final for Creative Writing this morning. It was surprisingly very flee-flowing and not at all awkward. I feared it would be with our gross differences in personality. Anyway, Gloria and Will are adorable together and it makes me pissed that of everything they're having to go through.
The reason for this post? Irony.
So, I was chopping the leaves off of strawberries (I'm sure that has a name) when I accidently got the knife (a weird shaped organic knife) turned the wrong way in my hand. The sharp side looks just like the dull side, so I pressed down to cut a strawberry and totally cut a slash into my right index finger...my writing finger. It still stings. I got injured from writing a a breakfast to celebrate writing.
My gift for the semester: A film version of Luigi Pirandello's Six Characters in Search of an Author with Andy Griffith and John Houseman...I can't wait to watch. I l-l-l-love this play.
On top of that, I'm sick and it sucks a little bit. Maybe I'll feel better soon and get rid of this whooping cough and the horrible sleep I've been having. I feel a bit dead.
The reason for this post? Irony.
So, I was chopping the leaves off of strawberries (I'm sure that has a name) when I accidently got the knife (a weird shaped organic knife) turned the wrong way in my hand. The sharp side looks just like the dull side, so I pressed down to cut a strawberry and totally cut a slash into my right index finger...my writing finger. It still stings. I got injured from writing a a breakfast to celebrate writing.
My gift for the semester: A film version of Luigi Pirandello's Six Characters in Search of an Author with Andy Griffith and John Houseman...I can't wait to watch. I l-l-l-love this play.
On top of that, I'm sick and it sucks a little bit. Maybe I'll feel better soon and get rid of this whooping cough and the horrible sleep I've been having. I feel a bit dead.
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WIGA
Mar. 1st, 2007 | 03:15 pm
WASP-White Anglo Straight Protestant
Wasps are angry and annoying insects that make nothing and sting.
WIGA-White Irish Gay Agnostic
WIGA is a gambling overseeing organization. Already you know that WIGAs are a lot more fun and decadent than WASPs.
Wasps are angry and annoying insects that make nothing and sting.
WIGA-White Irish Gay Agnostic
WIGA is a gambling overseeing organization. Already you know that WIGAs are a lot more fun and decadent than WASPs.
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Dry Throat
Feb. 26th, 2007 | 04:33 pm
I totally spent French class today figuring out how Landon got into Devin's house.
The ice pick on his key chain is really a tension bar.
The ice pick on his key chain is really a tension bar.
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ACTF this week
Feb. 5th, 2007 | 05:30 pm
Everything is so crazy. Everyone is getting sick. Everyone is overworked. Everyone is being pulled in a million directions.
And everything is a tradeoff.
Realize it now...life'll be a lot easier because of it.
And everything is a tradeoff.
Realize it now...life'll be a lot easier because of it.
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He Loved Big Brother
Jan. 16th, 2007 | 04:04 pm
It's true.
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Off
Jan. 14th, 2007 | 02:04 pm
I'm off. Tim said I didn't have to go to rehearsal today. I went by Rick's office and he said I didn't either. So...I'm off. For the next few hours, at least, until Pippin rehearsal, which is going so much better now that Marc has been down here. I can't wait for the read-through with music tonight. Everybody is doing a fabulous job.
On the agenda:
-Pippin rehearsal
-Homework: French, English Lit., Creative Writing, Directing, Acting, Theatre History...basically everything but World Lit and Comm
-Go to the emergency room tonight to do CW homework.
On the agenda:
-Pippin rehearsal
-Homework: French, English Lit., Creative Writing, Directing, Acting, Theatre History...basically everything but World Lit and Comm
-Go to the emergency room tonight to do CW homework.
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Today
Jan. 1st, 2007 | 05:10 pm
location: The Office
mood: 
touched by a cattle prod
music: Bach's Piano Concerto #9
If what you do on New Years determines what you do for the rest of the year, I am in deep shit. Here is a brief itinerary of my day.
-12:00 AM-Get done watching Law and Order marathon on USA, start watching Law and order marathon on TNT (Like hells I'm going out on New Years right after I get done with the program. And besides, it's not like I hang out with tons of people down here anyway)
-3:37 AM-Force myself out of bed to drink water since I feel like crap. Drink three glasses go back to bed.
-4:04-4:17 AM-Vomit up everything I've eaten all day.
-4:17 AM-3:15 PM-Sleep
-3:15 PM-Get up frantically, feeling the urgent need to rush to Wal-Mart, only to realize after I had spent some time looking for my keys that what I needed were clothespins and I really don't need them.
-3:15-4:18 PM-I play a video game that keeps eating my helpers for no good reason. I'm done with this video game.
-4:25 PM-I eat dinner of sausage and black-eyed peas. This is a tradition in my family that needs to be destroyed. No one likes sausage. No one. We're not Polish. We should not eat sausage.
-4:38 PM-Coma in the shower
-5:04 PM-Start my online checking routine, growing increasingly paranoid that my people who are supposed to be responding about possibly ASMing for me have not. Further, I'm nervous that I won't be able to get back on campus on Thursday because it will still be shut down for the holiday. Oh, and I'm not sure everybody got the e-mail for the rehearsal. Huzzah for paranoia.
-5:15 PM-Done writing about my day, moving on to writing on my short stories.
-12:00 AM-Get done watching Law and Order marathon on USA, start watching Law and order marathon on TNT (Like hells I'm going out on New Years right after I get done with the program. And besides, it's not like I hang out with tons of people down here anyway)
-3:37 AM-Force myself out of bed to drink water since I feel like crap. Drink three glasses go back to bed.
-4:04-4:17 AM-Vomit up everything I've eaten all day.
-4:17 AM-3:15 PM-Sleep
-3:15 PM-Get up frantically, feeling the urgent need to rush to Wal-Mart, only to realize after I had spent some time looking for my keys that what I needed were clothespins and I really don't need them.
-3:15-4:18 PM-I play a video game that keeps eating my helpers for no good reason. I'm done with this video game.
-4:25 PM-I eat dinner of sausage and black-eyed peas. This is a tradition in my family that needs to be destroyed. No one likes sausage. No one. We're not Polish. We should not eat sausage.
-4:38 PM-Coma in the shower
-5:04 PM-Start my online checking routine, growing increasingly paranoid that my people who are supposed to be responding about possibly ASMing for me have not. Further, I'm nervous that I won't be able to get back on campus on Thursday because it will still be shut down for the holiday. Oh, and I'm not sure everybody got the e-mail for the rehearsal. Huzzah for paranoia.
-5:15 PM-Done writing about my day, moving on to writing on my short stories.
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Happy New Year
Jan. 1st, 2007 | 02:55 am
location: The Office
mood: tired
music: Law and Order marathon on TNT
I resolve to write in my blog more. This takes the number of things I should be writing daily to three. Hmm.
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Home
Oct. 7th, 2006 | 05:41 pm
location: The Compound
mood: 
okay
music: Commercials in the Next Room
Sometimes, you just need a vacation. Read Doubt this afternoon, and now I really want to do it.
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The skit
Oct. 5th, 2006 | 11:54 am
location: Dorm Room
mood: buh
music: What's in the Box from Se7en the Musical
We have a tradition in the Shorter Theatre Department of naming every play we do as a skit as a quick way of referring to it and a humorous moniker for it to hold during and after the process. It may refer to a specific aspect of the show or just the overall effect it had. For instance, A Midsummer Night's Dream was known as "The Fairy Skit" and Into the Woods was "The Tree skit."
I got cast Tuesday as Petey in Harold Pinter's The Birthday Party. We're planning on calling it "The...............skit" due to the fact that our director is in lover with the Pinter pause (TM) and the fact that its a hunk of dead, silent time on stage. For a point...but only with a lot of work. I think the show will be a good experience, but I'm having to push back personal projects yet again because of the mainstage. Which is a good thing in a way, but at the same time, I feel that there's so much more I could and should be doing...not just as a performer, but in a director sense. I don't know, things will figure themselves out.
I got cast Tuesday as Petey in Harold Pinter's The Birthday Party. We're planning on calling it "The...............skit" due to the fact that our director is in lover with the Pinter pause (TM) and the fact that its a hunk of dead, silent time on stage. For a point...but only with a lot of work. I think the show will be a good experience, but I'm having to push back personal projects yet again because of the mainstage. Which is a good thing in a way, but at the same time, I feel that there's so much more I could and should be doing...not just as a performer, but in a director sense. I don't know, things will figure themselves out.
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Call-backs
Oct. 3rd, 2006 | 07:30 pm
location: Dorm Room
mood: 
God I hope I get it...
music: Things I'll Never Say by Avril Lavigne
People don't want to be in The Birthday Party cause its a combo of it being Doc, it being Menace, and people being crappy. My secret:
I wouldn't mind doing this show...but I'd never tell the theatre table that.
How creepy that this particular song would come up on my iTunes shuffle right now.
I wouldn't mind doing this show...but I'd never tell the theatre table that.
How creepy that this particular song would come up on my iTunes shuffle right now.
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Pseudonym
Sep. 26th, 2006 | 12:46 am
It's hard to come up with a pseudonym that doesn't strike as incredibly moody and angsty or totally pointless. Things like Night Writer and Dark Words are way too meh for the kind of subterfuge I'd like to be a part of.
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That Feeling in Your Stomach
Sep. 25th, 2006 | 03:27 pm
location: ST Computer Lab
mood: 
Gulpy
music: Opium by Jump, Little Children
You know that feeling. That pukey feeling you get right before you do something that you know that you are not going to be able to reverse with any ease. That feeling when you know that soon, very soon, you are going to be making a decision that will alter the course o f your life for an extended period of time and that ther eis very little you can do to escape the path. The feeling that everything to come was all of your own doing. Which is not necessarily a bad thing.
Basically, what I'm saying is that as soon as I finish printing out the scripts, I will be posting the audition stuff for Jack...well, as soon as I print out the stuff...go back to my room, e-mail myself the flyer, and go and attach all of this to the callboard, then stuff for my AHA piece will be posted. Which makes me nervous. I've got a good concept, I think, and I believe that the process will go well...I just hope people audition and don't make a mockery of all fo this...because that would suck pretty hardcore. I have a lot of people worries, not to mention this being the first style piece I've ever directed. Be still my churning intestines.
Basically, what I'm saying is that as soon as I finish printing out the scripts, I will be posting the audition stuff for Jack...well, as soon as I print out the stuff...go back to my room, e-mail myself the flyer, and go and attach all of this to the callboard, then stuff for my AHA piece will be posted. Which makes me nervous. I've got a good concept, I think, and I believe that the process will go well...I just hope people audition and don't make a mockery of all fo this...because that would suck pretty hardcore. I have a lot of people worries, not to mention this being the first style piece I've ever directed. Be still my churning intestines.